ngorkkkkzzzz

i am going to mindanao next week. freaking hell.

i am! pikon

over sunday's dinner mom was talking about her cousin's funeral she attended earlier that day. while she was babbling about our relatives, something caught my attention. according to her, days before her cousin passed away, he went to isabela to look for a daughter he hasnt seen in 30 years. they reunited alright.but here's the chismis part:

"what if ur long lost pa came to us in dying mode noh?" asked this mother of mine.

"oo nga...," chirped my sister.

"duh.for all we know he's lying at the bottom of the ocean.probably became a coral na.haha.asa pa kayo."

of course that could only come out from my big bad mouth.

****
that sunday morning was surreal for me.woke up by the sound of my mom's shrieking phone. and because she's gone out to church, i didnt have the choice but to answer the call.

after a brief and groggy hello, the caller said

"hellooooowwww?si dr. barrozo itohhhhh...."

at the back of my mind, i was thinking, doctor who?did she just say dr. barrozo? is she introducing herself as dr. barrozo (because i dont remember having a relative who is a doctor) or is she asking for a doctor barrozo? (because again, i dont remember having a fucking relative who is a doctor)...so i said,

"uhmmm...sino po ulit?" then she said,

"ahhh.... si tita ***** mo itohhhhhh...pakisabi sa mama mo namatay si uncle mo *****, may mass mamayang hapon sa bahay ng 1pm."

taena kung tatawag ka sa kamag-anak mo, dont fucking address yourself with your fucking academic shit. haiblad na haiblad talaga ako!naku. and! it didnt end there, because when they met at the funeral, she kept referring to her kids with their degrees. like,

"magbabakasyon nga ako sa amerika next week eh..."

my mom: "ay talaga? sino naman ang kasama mo?"

the aunt: "si attorney (her eldest) at si maestra (her youngest)."

when mom was telling us this over dinner, i couldnt help but kid my mom,

"eh di sana sabi mo, 'naku, nagbabalak din pumunta ng san fo (san fernando, LU, not san francisco, CA) sina animator (my sister) at si sociologist eh (that's me kuno) ngayung holy week eh.'"

nyahaha.laban ka?

mahirap talaga maging pikon.hay.

one helluva week!

at last the national rice r&d conference is over!makakahinga na ako.whew.i did not present a paper or a poster this year, but i sure had a "moment" again.during the plenary session one scientist asked about how we came up with income estimates in our paper.i wasnt paying attention; i was seated at the back of some 500 people so when kuya sai requested me on stage to answer the damned question, it took me awhile to get hold of the mic, sabay hirit "what's the question again?" nyahaha. halatang hindi nakikinig!


****
i survived the blood compact with cofi.yehey.beware.mas mabangis na dugo ko ngaun.

***
couple of days ago, my friend was telling me how she'd make herself imbisibol at ym so she can monitor that someone. i just laughed it off.lam mo bang you can trace your ym buddies with this? even if they're imbisibol?wahaha.kala mo ha. which made me think of other stealth modes that suspicious creatures make when monitoring their girlfriends/boyfriends:

1. locator service by sms providers

this one was used on me.sabi niya, "let me enrol you to my locator service so id know if your safe.." syempre ang lola mo kinilig!nag-yes sa prompt ng smart. later on... "sabi mo ur in mnla how come d locator says ur in davao?!" si ako: "glitch lang yan sa smart ya know..." sabay palit ng sim card!haha.

2. the use of friends

friends play several roles in the monitoring process:

2.1 as report officers -- si ikaw, "ui, how was the gimik last nyt?sabi ni SO (significant other) u went to this and that place daw..Ü" the friend: "huh?im sick kaya." nakow, patay kang bata ka!

2.2 as baits during loyalty checks -- pag bago pa lang kayo ni SO, you'd want to check if he's really sincere with you. thus the use of friends. si ikaw: "friend, text mo nman si SO ko.landiin mo ha?tingnan natin kung ano reaction.." eh nagkataon na type ni friend si SO? friend at the back of her mind, "mwahahahalets parteeeeeeehh!"

3. loyalty checks are also done by the suspicious girlfriends/boyfriends themselves:

they'd use another number to flirt their SOs.pag sinungitan sila, they grin from ear to ear.proof that their SOs are loyal to them.pero pag nag-flirt back si SO, naku lagot na! lalo na pag ganito text:

"seb?"

and because its women's month...

... i cant help but talk about women stuff.not the boring kind, like crocheting and cross-stitching and baking (that's too domestic for me, sorry); rather, indulge me about some things that
i, as a woman (id like to think so, hah!) encountered. like what the feminist group EBa in UP Baguio says, ang buhay ng bawat babae ay isang engkwentro.

so let me tell you about the encounters iv had had:

1. i lived with a grandmother who was Fred Flintstones' neighbor. yeah, yeah, she was a die- hard stone-age old lady.she expected me to be prim and proper, to be meek and mild, to wear skirts and sit in a corner furiously crocheting. when i was in high school, she openly showed her discontent when i would invite my friends over who suffered asphyxiation when they cant laugh their lungs out.she even had this idea that girls should never go to boy's houses and vice versa.so imagine her horror when conrad started to frequent the house! i enjoy provoking my dear old grandmother. i mean, dont get me wrong. i would have a different mother if not for her and i wudnt want that, but c'mon man. *sighs* you get my drift now? and she should thank me every time i exercise her bloodstream to go really high. di ba there's this theory na if you've been exposed to the same kind of stress, it would make your system immune?she never suffered from hypertension during those times. plamis. when i got out of the house during college and after that, she had hypertension attacks every now and then. see?


2. during college, i was oriented with feminist ideas. they say you have three degrees of feminism. (disclaimer: i am may not use socially acceptable, politically correct terms here, ok? these are just products of my delusions during college.my own interpretation.)

• feminists who think they are not getting as much human rights as men enjoy. they think women are better off than men. if you were to talk to this kind of fem, shed say, "dapat mas maging angat ang mga kababaihan sa lahat ng bagay!mga lalaki ipis lang sila!panis kayo meyn!" whew.
  
• feminists who think that there is discrimination in this world, whether against them or against men. they fight for their rights alongside those of men. they dont want to antagonize their men, lest they refuse to give them their sperms.mwaha.
  
• feminists who believe that men are dim wits and have no place in the world.they have the cruel world syndrome, like what my deviant sociology taught me.they see men as chauvinist pigs who should be eliminated in the face of the earth.they dont need men, period. imagine this scenario: me: "so pano yan, wala kang boylet?ganun?" her: "hindi ko sila kailangan!gusto ko kami-kami lang." taray ng lola mo!

3. sometimes the society cant help but treat women as vulnerable, like some crystal vase that should be protected always. there are several manifestations of this:

• male friends who offer to carry your bag, books, groceries and even laundry when your walking with them. i mean, salamat pare but i can handle it pa naman ok? ill call for help when i need to haul that sack of rice or that shellane to my 3rd floor apartment.and yes, i find men cute when they're sweating like there's an invisible scented shower following them around.haha.
• men who offer seats at crowded buses. when i was in high school i get furious when i get to stand in the bus while men are sitting comfortably in their seats. all that changed in college and when i started commuting in manila.again, i say thank you for the offer but! it was my fault i went back to sleep after my alarm tried to wake me up, my fault when i had to shower for too long, and my fault when i had to change my clothes three times because i thought the colors didn't match.ayan tuloy naabutan ko ang rush hour sa bus.so you see?for all i know you had to skip breakfast and run like hell just to get a seat on that bus, only to give it to someone who was late because she was vain. nasaan ang katarungan don? nasaaaaaannn???
  
• men who offer to pay everything when going out. pamasahe sa dyip, movie tickets, burger meal at mcdo.i mean, pareho lang nman siguro kayong sumusweldo na di ba?wag naman masyadong user friendly kapatid!i love men who let me pay for dinners and movies.yun lang.im not filthy rich; just that i dont mind spending money for friends.im not conscious about getting my wallet fat with cash.id rather spend it for coffee and have a good talk with friends in return.

4. sexual harassment. im not claiming i have a body like mrs. pitt, but yeah, there were instances where men made sexual innuendos toward me. i remember during first year college, i sat with a maniac in a victory bus on the way to baguio. i was in the window seat so i was an easy prey.the experience taught me to always choose aisle seats when commuting. when i started work in manila, there was a guy who masturbated in front of me on a jeepney. horror talaga! buti na lang few weeks before that happened, my manila grown officemates advised me not to show emotion in front of exhibitionists. i remember what they told me, "wag kang magpapakita ng takot at lalong wag kang maglalaway!" yes mam!yes sir! haha. i love my officemates dearly.

5. peer pressure on 20something single women like me. disclaimer again: i am not the kind of "kami-kami" feminists, ok? that's not the reason why i remain single after college. its just that... i have a jinx in relationships i guess.but what irritates me is when people make comments like "mag-asawa ka na! you're not getting any younger!" marriage at 25? owkamon meyn. i was almost married off when i was 18 and i dont want any of that yet. besides, i dont mind being single. im happy with the friends i have. hindi lang dapat lalaki ang basehan ng kaligayahan ng mga kababaihan. rakenrol!

6. girly/kikay stuff. i dont like kikay stuff.period.but subscribing to non-girlie stuff doesnt make you a tomboy ok?i have my own definition of femininity.


to cap things off, id like to share an excerpt of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues:

Let's just start with the word “vagina.” It sounds like an infection at best, maybe a medical instrument: “Hurry, Nurse, bring me the vagina.” “Vagina.” “Vagina.” Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sounds like a word you want to say. It's a totally ridiculous, completely unsexy word. If you use it during sex, trying to be politically correct-“Darling, could you stroke my vagina?”-you kill the act right there.

I'm worried about vaginas, what we call them and don't call them.

In Great Neck, they call it a pussycat. A woman there told me that her mother used to tell her, “Don't wear panties underneath your pajamas, dear; you need to air out your pussycat.” In Westchester they called it a pooki, in New Jersey a twat. There's “powderbox,” “derrière,” a “poochi,” a “poopi,” a “peepe,” a “poopelu,” a “poonani,” a “pal” and a “piche,” “toadie,” “dee dee,” “nishi,” “dignity,” “monkey box,” “coochi snorcher,” “cooter,” “labbe,” “Gladys Siegelman,” “VA,” “wee wee,” “horsespot,” “nappy dugout,” “mongo,” a “pajama,” “fannyboo,” “mushmellow,” a “ghoulie,” “possible,” “tamale,” “tottita,” “Connie,” a “Mimi” in Miami, “split knish” in Philadelphia, and “schmende” in the Bronx. I am worried about vaginas.

You cannot love a vagina unless you love hair. Many people do not love hair. My first and only husband hated hair. He said it was cluttered and dirty. He made me shave my vagina. It looked puffy and exposed and like a little girl. This excited him. When he made love to me, my vagina felt the way a beard must feel. It felt good to rub it, and painful. Like scratching a mosquito bite. It felt like it was on fire. There were screaming red bumps. I refused to shave it again. Then my husband had an affair. When we went to marital therapy, he said he screwed around because I wouldn't please him sexually. I wouldn't shave my vagina. The therapist had a thick German accent and gasped between sentences to show her empathy. She asked me why I didn't want to please my husband. I told her I thought it was weird. I felt little when my hair was gone down there, and I couldn't help talking in a baby voice, and the skin got irritated and even calamine lotion wouldn't help it. She told me marriage was a compromise. I asked her if shaving my vagina would stop him from screwing around. I asked her if she'd had many cases like this before. She said that questions diluted the process. I needed to jump in. She was sure it was a good beginning.

This time, when we got home, he got to shave my vagina. It was like a therapy bonus prize. He clipped it a few times, and there was a little blood in the bathtub. He didn't even notice it, 'cause he was so happy shaving me. Then, later, when my husband was pressing against me, I could feel his spiky sharpness sticking into me, my naked puffy vagina. There was no protection. There was no fluff.

I realized then that hair is there for a reason-it's the leaf around the flower, the lawn around the house. You have to love hair in order to love the vagina. You can't pick the parts you want. And besides, my husband never stopped screwing around.

I asked all the women I interviewed the same questions and then I picked my favorite answers. Although I must tell you, I've never heard an answer I didn't love. I asked women:

“If your vagina got dressed, what would it wear?”

A beret.
A leather jacket.
Silk stockings.
Mink.
A pink boa.
A male tuxedo.
Jeans.
Something formfitting.
Emeralds.
An evening gown.
Sequins.
Armani only.
A tutu.
See-through black underwear.
A taffeta ball gown.
Something machine washable.
Costume eye mask.
Purple velvet pajamas.
Angora.
A red bow.
Ermine and pearls.
A large hat full of flowers.
A leopard hat.
A silk kimono.
Sweatpants.
A tattoo.
An electrical shock device to keep unwanted strangers away.
High heels.
Lace and combat boots.
Purple feathers and twigs and shells.
Cotton.
A pinafore.
A bikini.
A slicker.

***
saw this from my brod's site:



HAPPY WOMEN'S MONTH EVERYONE!

randomness v.2

i just had an overdose of coffee today.the coffeeshop here in philrice is offering their drinks at 50% discount.asteeg.i had a mocha frap at P40 while their flavored cappuccino is at P20 only.wish ko lang hindi ako dilat magdamag.


***
9.31pm at the ofis.am with ate rhem and marco doing overtime.suddenly,
marco: "pareng kat, pakinggan mo 2!"

sayang, bakit hindi kta niligawan
ngyon akoy nanghihinayang kasi naman,
tatanga-tanga pa ako, noon
walang humpay na paghintay
sa hindi dumarating na pagkakataon

lagi nman ktang nakakasama
ewan ko kung bakit ba walang akong nagagawa
kahit na npakadali mong kausapin,
ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hirap paring aminin

mdalas nman tyong naglolokohan
dinadaan ko nlang sa biro ang 2nay kong nraramdaman
kaya cguro hindi mo cneryoso
aking mga cnabi,un 2loy walang nangyari

kakalipas lmang ng isang sem
ng mkita kita na mayroong ibang ksama,
magkahawak ang inyong mga kmay
ang dibdib ko ay sumikip ang pglunok ko ay naipit
aking napatunayan na nasa huli ang pagsisisi
para bng gus2 kong umiyak ngunit para sa ano pa
wala nmang mgagawa

magaling.magaling.ukinnana.

and because he is marco, he is unstoppable. he felt like he was some disc jock and played emo songs for the next 10 years. in between songs, he blurted, "pards hindi mo ba alam na ikinakahiya ka niya?"

taena. *wailing*

***
buti na lang happy wikend ko. :D went to baguio last weekend for the panagbenga. i really enjoyed the time i had wid my mom and sis. ngaun lang ulit kami nkapag-bonding kaya enjoy talaga!








***
countdown to rabid days: 4. if cofi is still alive by saturday, null and void na ang blood compact namin.mwa.mwaha.mwahahahahahahahahahaha.

happy women's month!

March is Women's Month! In celebration of this, id like to share this poem by joi barrios.

TO BE A WOMAN IS TO LIVE AT A TIME OF WAR

To be a woman
Is to live at a time of war.

I grew up
with fear beside me,
uncertain of a future,
hinged to the men of my life;
father, brother,
husband, son.
I was afraid to be alone.

To be a mother
Is to look at poverty at its face.
For the cruelty of war
Lies not on heads that roll,
But tables always empty.
How does one look for food for the eldest
As a baby sucks at one’s breast?

No moment is without danger.
In one’s own home,
To speak, to defy
Is to challenge violence itself.
In the streets,
Walking at nightfall
Is to invite a stranger’s attack.
In my country
To fight against oppression
Is to lay down one’s life for the struggle.

I seek to know this war.
To be a woman is a never ceasing battle
To live and be free.

20 random facts

1. i stole L. Bautista's Dekada '70 from up baguio's library. no sweat.

2. i love vinegar!and mayonaise!great for any ulam.

3. i have two black dogs. they're both disabled in some way. pucca cant move her hind legs because of an accident some 3 years ago.zig lost his left eye due to some infection.i love them both. =)

4. i have a short attention span.i yawn when im bored.even right into some boring jerk's face.cant help it meyn. i remember my sociology prof once approached me, asking if something was wrong because she always saw me yawning at class.watdapak!i dint had the heart to tell her she was hopelessly boring.dah.

5. iv been collecting shells since i went to tawi-tawi. my humble collection include shells from bongao, bora from rache and mindoro from josh.

6. some remarks i made at national conferences while presenting papers:
"nagpapatanga-tanga po sila." -- when asked what were farmers doing during their idle time

"they fed their pigs more than themselves." -- when explaining why the farmer's family spent more on feeds than for their own food

7. i was suprema for my sorority in college.i sucked.

8. i love the mine & shine milk tea that you can buy at 7-11.

9. when i was in grade 4 i picked up a fight with a girl who belonged to a lower section just because. it got so ugly that even our brothers and moms got involved.haha. buti na lang bespren ni mama yung prinsipal.abswelto.

10. i hate washing my clothes.in midsayap, i paid 300 a month for the labandera, here in ecija its 6 per piece.when i run out of clothes to wear, id go panic buying at malls.haha.

11. i love sleep.

12. when i was a kid, i did not have the usual pets -- i had a goat. and this is how we love each other:

its more of a hostage drama to some, but i call it love.really.

13. the room i share with rache at the staff dorm is #13. yeah yeah.love it.not the number but the room.hehehe.

14. i love traveling but i hate long drives. my ass overheats faster than any engine in the world.

15. i am UP-centric when it comes to romance.

16. im a drama queen.i practically cried my heart out during my first week in college because i missed my mom dearly. in class, in my room, in restrooms, even in jeepneys on the way to school.yay.

17. i hate admin work.i hate processing paper works.birth certificates, TORs, receipts, travel reports.pak! some things i should have gotten had i submitted some documents:
** plane ticket reimbursement
** travel expenses
** 2 possible training opportunities in the netherlands

id rather miss out on those than burden myself with submitting documents.

18. i love bob ong.and manix abrera.and pol medina. they all rock.

19. im a sucker for real life pocketbook romance.

20. im not a morning person.ever.

randomness

***
i was so pissed with the people at home this morning so i hurriedly packed my things and took off.i was hopping on a bus back to ecija on a miraculous time of 6am.asteeg.on a normal day its past 7am.ayus din pala minsan pag naiinis, napapaaga ng alis.nyahaha.

***
we went to the nearby river last saturday to collect stones -- read: freaking stones, not! pebbles -- for karen's project for the panagbenga.i enjoyed playing with the dogs, although ziggy was so chicken-shit about the water so there were only kiko and cofi who took the plunge with us.anyhoo.i got 2 battle wounds when we came out of the water:
1. a small wound just above my left knee.it wasnt bleeding much but it freaked me out because cofi was so harot so i thought he bit me.eh askal kaya may rabies.waaaa!pakingsyet.kuya bong suggested i rub a young papaya to induce bleeding.taena ang sakit!ang hapdeeee!!after he rubbed the papaya i got 3 additional wounds. tips for dark tanned people -- ikiskis ang green papaya kung gusto niong pumuti!nakakaputi ng balat dahil siguradong tuklap ang outer layer!ukinnana.intayon ag-shot!
2. sunburn.at first i dint mind it.in fact, i was happy with the tan line i got. pare mahapdi pala.hay!vainness!

***
drama queen #1:

From: me
To: +63928250...
Message:
im giving up.i hate u.im giving us up!

From: +63928250...
To: kat
Message:
ur a loser.ur weak!

From: kat
To: +63928250...
Message:
ur not giving me reasons to be strong!

From: +63928250...
To: kat
Message:
iv bin gvin u a lot of rsons bt u jst dnt see ryt thru dem!

such a lousy, lousy lover... him, not me!

***
DACOCO's RESTO in CLSU Campus

MENU AVAILABLE:

CHOWPAN:
seafood
chicken
beef

nyahaha.pinoy talaga gaya-gaya!meron din bang ciao-king?nyahaha!

***
just this morning i decided i want an iphone.ryt now!this week!papa jesus tested my temper this afternoon when i was interviewing a farmer. he was not responsive.tuod.daydreaming.thinks im babbling.stares at me like im some alien.a hot alien.haha. watda---!

i guess am not gonna have that iphone.i failed the test.kainis!

ang libro ni hudas ni bob ong

"What do I have to do to get your attention? Take out an ad in the paper?" God

"Earthlings, don't treat me like an alien." God

"How can you possibly be a self-made man? I specifically recall creating you." God

"You think it's hot here?" God

"Could you imagine the price of air if it were brought to you by another supplier?" God

"Will the road you're on get you to my place?" God

"Need directions?" God

"Please don't drink and drive, you're not quite ready to meet me yet." God

"I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. Okay, so I'm biased." God

"Follow me." God

"Don't forget your umbrella, I might water the plants today." God

"Tao po...!" <%>

"Ano 'yon?" God

"Magandang araw ho! Pasensya na ho sa istorbo, may kausap yata kayo...." <%>

"Hindi, wala. Binabasa ko lang yung mga billboard na nakikita ko sa highway. Ano'ng maipaglilingkod ko sa'yo?" God

"Itatanong ko lang ho sana kung talagang patay na ko." <%>

"Naku! Anak, pasensya na. Wala sa akin ang mga listahan e. Baka s'ya makatulong sa'yo." God

"Sino ho?" <%>

<. - - .> Ako! Ako! Hehe…. <%> Huh? <. - - .> Ano’ng problema? <%> Itatanong ko lang ho sana kung— <. - - .> Ah, oo. Patay ka na. Hehe…. <%> Pero bakit… <%> Kailan… <%> Paano nangyari ‘yon? <. - - .> Sandali… <. - - .> .. <. - - .> … <. - - .> . <. - - .> A-hah! <. - - .> Ayon sa record mo, nagbasa ka ng libro. <%> Ho?!?! <. - - .> Oo... nagbasa ka nga ng libro. <. - - .> Siguro nakatulog ka pagkatapos magbasa… <. - - .> nakalimutan mong nasa tuktok ka ng flag pole. <%> Hindi ho! <. - - .> O baka naman nakasandal ka sa isang pader, <. - - .> tapos naipasok mo ang daliri mo sa isang electrical outlet. <%> Hindi rin ho! <. - - .> Aba eh wag mo na kong pahulain. <. - - .> Ikaw ang namatay, dapat alam mo kung bakit at paano. <%> Kaya nga ho ako nagtatanong e. <. - - .> Sandali… may naisip ako…. <. - - .> Ano'ng libro ba ang binasa mo? <. - - .> Hindi kaya isa ka rin sa mga nagbasa ng paboritong libro ni hudas? <%> Oo nga ho... <. - - .> Bulls eye!!! <%> Paano n’yo nalaman? <. - - .> Hehe… marami nang nauna sa'yo. <. - - .> Binasa mo ang libro pero hindi mo inalam ang mga bagay-bagay tungkol dito. <%> Huh? <. - - .> Sige nga, ano ba ang alam mo tungkol sa libro na ‘yon? <%> Kahit anong tungkol sa libro? <. - - .> … <%> Basta ang alam ko, meron daw ‘yon missing chapter, <%> sadyang tinanggal nang ipasa ng sumulat ang manuscript sa publisher. <. - - .> Ano pa? <%> Um… bago magkaroon ng paboritong libro si hudas, <%> nagkaroon muna s'ya ng paboritong website, <%> pero may pagkakaiba ang dalawa. <. - - .> … <%> …may kinalaman kaunti sila Ryan and Jacob sa libro. <. - - .> Sino? <%> Basta, makikita 'yon sa search engine. <. - - .> Pero bakit tinawag 'yong paboritong libro ni hudas? <%> Ah, alam ko ‘yan! Trick question ‘yan. <%> Tulad ni Fats Waller, sasagutin ka lang ng sumulat ng: <%> “If you hafta ask, you ain’t never gonna know!” <%> .. <%> Ano pa ba…? <%> . <%> At nga pala! ‘Yung sumulat ng libro… <%> hindi totoong sumali s’ya sa Laban o Bawi. <. - - .> ... <%> Marami pa kong alam tungkol sa kanya. Gusto mo? <. - - .> Sige lang… <%> Sabi sa isang death clock sa Internet, hindi na raw s’ya aabot sa taong 2049. <. - - .> Sino? <%> ‘Yung sumulat ng paboritong libro ni hudas. <. - - .> Hehe... <%> Dahil masyadong matipid, buwanan lang s’ya pumasyal sa barberya. <%> Kung hihingan mo s’ya ngayon ng joke, ang maibibigay n’ya sa’yo ay ang tungkol sa “horny eagle”. <%> Alam ko rin na isa s’ya sa mga nabanggit na “Nonoy” sa libro. Kasalukuyan s’yang may pinagkakaabalahan na alagang hayop… at nagamit n’ya ang “F” word nang kagatin s’ya nito habang— <. - - .> Sige, sige... ayos na.... <. - - .> Marami ka ngang alam, pero tila yata hindi mo alam ang pinaka importanteng bagay tungkol sa libro. <%> Ano? <. - - .> Pagkatapos mong basahin ito, mamamatay ka. <%> HA?!?! <. - - .> Surprise! <%> Sandali... alam ko biro lang ‘yon, diba? <. - - .> Depende. <. - - .> Hiram lang ba ang kopya mo ng libro tapos hindi mo na ibinalik sa may-ari? <%> Hindi ah! <. - - .> Shoplifter ka? <%> Lalong hindi! <. - - .> Tinapos mo lang bang basahin sa tindahan ang libro at hindi mo binili? <%> Hindi rin! <. - - .> Nagpa-xerox ka? <%> Ba’t mo alam?

"We need to talk." God

nightmare, comedy-style

i had a nightmare the other night. the most vivid image i remembered was something like the photo on the right, a bit macro nga lang. and yeah, the nightmare i had was one of those action-packed stills with a touch of history.i dreamt i was in Nazi country, 1940s-style and was holed up in a secret place ala-anne frank.my sister was at another building and we were using 3g to talk to each other. (yan ang inconsistencies ng nightmares!3g in the 1940s?owkamon meyn.)

anyhoo.we were able to plan our escape and got through it.i remember we were going down a steep incline and the feeling was like i was riding EK's jungle log jam. hehehe. we were running for our lives when suddenly --- bam!the shrill sound of my l7's alarm woke me up.i was groggy, was still in a daze and to keep myself awake i checked out my sms inbox. i answered some morning greetings with accounts of my nightmare. 3 friends texted back but this one's my favorite:

"huh?holocaust n hitlr?nde q nbltaan yn ah?cgro nsa barko ako nun.wat month ngyari yan?"

taena nagising ako dun a.rache woke up with my wahahaha!harharhar!and bwahahaha!

may neym is... may neym is... whutt?!?!?

i dunno whose the jerk who came up with this whats-your-name's-hidden-meaning thing, but the result i got gave me a bloated ego.hah!

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. ---oooohhh.now gimme those juicy gossseeeppp....i wont spill, said the cat!
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. -- yebah beybeee! You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. -- true, true.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. -- haha.the boylets will relate to this. sabi nga ni sum, "you give me a roller coaster of emotions." haba ng hair ng lola mo.haha.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. -- kaya nga kahit lola ko hindi ako kinaya eh! You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. -- im always for good, clean fun ya know.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. -- wrong, jerk.i am more guilty of sloth than greed!boinks.

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.
You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.
Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. -- yeah, yeah.so, temper's what you call it pala?medical term?politically-correct term?whaaaat?


You are well rounded, -- literally o figuratively?umayos ka meyn. with a complete perspective on life. -- ayun eh.biglang kambyo.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience.
You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along.
But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. --bring it on!wuhoo.
You have the whole world under your spell, -- how i wish his world too! ayyyy...! and you can influence almost everyone you know. -- pati sana ang desisyon niya na ako lang.. anyamet!
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. --hahaha!wagi ito.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

balentayms piktyur!

balentayms was great! sir LSS gave us candy bears, although the dedication was screaming out load that ate camille, his executive assistant, prepared everything. cge na nga, its the thought that counts! sir sergie, program leader for impact and policy research gave out roses he ordered from HR. at syempre nanutil ang lolo mo!he drew two whiskers on my name kasi daw pusa.hay buhayy.. rache gave me an uber delicious cake from al's (elbi peeps should know this). wat stood out though was the tagalog pocketbooks that marco gave out! hehe.ayus to, 13 kaming gels sa opis,so hihiramin ko pocketbooks nila.wahaha.asteeg. rakenrol!

i discovered novellino's sweet white wine when the F girls at the dorm prepared a valentine's dinner. so when i went home for the wikend to celebrate valentine's day, i bought a bottle and cooked pasta. kung dati franzia's red wine ang nilalaklak namin ni karen, now we have a new favorite. you should try it, sarap!

yung cake pala with the broken heart was marco's treat. gusto daw kasi niyang malaman ng buong mundo na siya ay sawi.awwww...watdapak!i can soooo relate.

ip-ap! (or how a kapampangan wud pronounce hip-hop,hehe)

ip-ap rulezzz!!!

you dont deserve my best if you cant handle my worst!

i finally got my new ID. some things why it's special:

1. LSS signed it. oh well, the sometimes impossible but always endearing executive director is leaving philrice. thanks to his crazy idea, i immersed in ARMM for five impossible but endearing months.hehe. ay lab yu ser!

2. i "coerced" marco to take the shot i wanted, not the usual mug shot they take at photo studios. oh well, i took the "pogi" shot for his ID too. quits tayo pards.

3. i can now wear my ID with pride.the old one dived in a toilet bowl a few months ago, that's why Loresca's side is kinda blurred. oi in fairness malinis pa naman yung tubig nung nalaglag noh!and i did not scoop it naman with my bare hands. hehehe.

jeepney

just last week when i was on my way back to nueva ecija from pangasinan, i rode with a pregnant mother and her two little sons in the jeepney from san jose to munoz. she looked frail, her children malnourished. she actually begged the driver if they could ride the jeep to cabanatuan. she had no money left, she said. the driver agreed with a grunt. i thought, oh well, na-pressure lang ito from the curious stares of his passengers kaya pumayag. just as they were seated, the lady next to them started asking a barrage of questions.

taga-san ba kayo?
sa penaranda pa po..

naku, eh ang layo pa nun a!

….

---o, etong kwarenta, pamasahe nio.

kunin mo na!abay wag ka ng umarte.nasaan ba asawa mo?

nasa kulungan po..

anoo?!wag mo ng palabasin!hayaan mong mabulok sa kulungan yan.kita mo nga’t binuntis ka pa ulit!

…..

the woman cant help but cry.not just because of the helplessness of the situation she was into, but more of the humiliation she got from that woman. The jeepney was packed with employees rushing for work on that Monday morning, so just imagine the stares she got from these people who were all immaculately dressed in their corporate attires while she and her two children wore old, mangy clothes. One passenger, an old man who looked like a farmer, handed her P40 for their fare. Penaranda is still a long way from cabanatuan.

It just struck me as something really ironic that all the elite, more capable people riding in that jeep did not care about her, they just stood there and watched the drama unfold. One by one, they got off from the jeep… phil carabao center, bureau of post harvest, central Luzon state university, denr… an elementary teacher in Munoz. No one bothered to offer her money, which was what she badly needed that time. when the jeep neared the staff dorm, I handed her a hundred peso bill and hurriedly got off.she thanked me in a hushed tone, and I gave her a smile.

At the office later that day, I cant help but compare the jeepney with the society we have.it has become selfish and impersonal, where the privileged few are so caught up in their comfortable, neat world…never caring for those who are in need.i must admit there were times when I was also guilty with that. I was so busy thinking about my problems with work, with the mp3 player of my phone, my plane ticket reimbursement that I failed to get involved in the real world. I did not have time to comfort my sister when she was having problems with her relationship, I ignored my mom’s sentiments about her sister, i postponed a meet-up with a friend because of a deadline, without knowing she’s leaving for the states na pala.i immersed myself with things that gave me temporary happiness.

I just hope that it isn’t too late yet to make up for all the things I missed.