balanced diet.haha.

goodbye my almost lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

Well, I?d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you?d want the same for me


Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

musings on a saturday morning

whenever i am just at home working, my days are not distinguished by weekdays and weekends. every single day when i get up, i immediately turn on the laptop and open Outlook, type in my password and wait for mails to load. open chrome, sign in to meebo, facebook, yahoo and google mail. while all these are loading, i go out and play with kooki for a bit, then prepare breakfast.i eat in front of the laptop.almost always.then i start working while taking calls and chatting with friends in between.

every single day, it has always been like that. i am getting bored. i miss the times when i go to the office and meet  officemates. discuss project direction with the bosses, consult research methods with peers and enjoy lunch with them.i miss being in charge of a project.the challenge of making a proposal look good enough to get funding, and managing the budget when you finally get it. i love the feeling of reporting about your research output and somehow having an influence on policies.

back when i was still doing that job, i also thought of changing careers especially during difficult times. i had thought of going into IT, of becoming a chef. i even considered the idea of becoming a tour guide because of my wanderlust!

being in the corporate world now made me realize that i need not need to change careers. because social research and rural development is where happiness is. funny because i had to move away from it to make me realize that its all i wanted to do after all. 

dealing with change

This is a simple story about two sets of personalities and how they deal with change. One has a very simple outlook in life, the other has a tendency to overanalyze each situation. So when their "cheese" (anything that makes us happy, be it work, relationship, etc) was gone from where they usually got it, they each take a different path to finding cheese nirvana. 
so as expected, the simple guy took off right after he realized there was no cheese anymore.he buckled up and started looking for cheese in other "cheese stations." now the complicated guy, who had made his cheese station his comfort zone took painful steps coming out of his shell to look for new cheese. this is his journey.
Some fear can be good. When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don't do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are so afraid that it keeps you from doing anything.
Whenever he started to get discouraged, he reminded himself that what he was doing, as uncomfortable as it was at the moment, was in reality much better than staying in the cheeseless situation. he was taking control, rather than simply letting things happen to him.
it is safer to search in the maze, than remain in a cheeseless situation.
what you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. the fear that YOU let build up in your mind is worse that the situation that actually exists.
he realized that the cheese had not just disappeared overnight as he had once believed. the amount had been getting smaller, mold may even have begun to grow. he now realized that the change probably would not have taken him by surprise if he had been watching what was happening all along and if he had anticipated change.
smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old.
he realized the fastest way to change is to laugh at your own folly -- then you can let go and move on quickly. he  learned something useful about moving on from the simple guy.he kept life simple. when the situation changed, he changed and moved with it.
you could be more aware of the need to keep things simple, be flexible, and move quickly.
you did not need to overcomplicate matters or confuse yourself  with fearful beliefs.
youl could notice when the little changes began so that you would be better prepared for the big change that might be coming.
he realized that there is always New Cheese out there whether you recognize it at the time, or not. and that you are rewarded with it when you go past your fear and enjoy the adventure.


he had even found a better part of himself. :)