i am! pikon

over sunday's dinner mom was talking about her cousin's funeral she attended earlier that day. while she was babbling about our relatives, something caught my attention. according to her, days before her cousin passed away, he went to isabela to look for a daughter he hasnt seen in 30 years. they reunited alright.but here's the chismis part:

"what if ur long lost pa came to us in dying mode noh?" asked this mother of mine.

"oo nga...," chirped my sister.

"duh.for all we know he's lying at the bottom of the ocean.probably became a coral na.haha.asa pa kayo."

of course that could only come out from my big bad mouth.

****
that sunday morning was surreal for me.woke up by the sound of my mom's shrieking phone. and because she's gone out to church, i didnt have the choice but to answer the call.

after a brief and groggy hello, the caller said

"hellooooowwww?si dr. barrozo itohhhhh...."

at the back of my mind, i was thinking, doctor who?did she just say dr. barrozo? is she introducing herself as dr. barrozo (because i dont remember having a relative who is a doctor) or is she asking for a doctor barrozo? (because again, i dont remember having a fucking relative who is a doctor)...so i said,

"uhmmm...sino po ulit?" then she said,

"ahhh.... si tita ***** mo itohhhhhh...pakisabi sa mama mo namatay si uncle mo *****, may mass mamayang hapon sa bahay ng 1pm."

taena kung tatawag ka sa kamag-anak mo, dont fucking address yourself with your fucking academic shit. haiblad na haiblad talaga ako!naku. and! it didnt end there, because when they met at the funeral, she kept referring to her kids with their degrees. like,

"magbabakasyon nga ako sa amerika next week eh..."

my mom: "ay talaga? sino naman ang kasama mo?"

the aunt: "si attorney (her eldest) at si maestra (her youngest)."

when mom was telling us this over dinner, i couldnt help but kid my mom,

"eh di sana sabi mo, 'naku, nagbabalak din pumunta ng san fo (san fernando, LU, not san francisco, CA) sina animator (my sister) at si sociologist eh (that's me kuno) ngayung holy week eh.'"

nyahaha.laban ka?

mahirap talaga maging pikon.hay.