lucas goes to SF, LU! :)

Lucas is a sweet little puppy. he would run excitedly towards me whenever i come to their house.i gave him his first dog food and he has never learned to chew from then on!haha.here he is as we brought him to san fernando, la union to his new home with tita and my cousins. 

oh and by the way, i realized we could never add another dog in the house.i raised a very jealous and bratty kooki.she screams and becomes really really murderous when she sees me with lucas.sigh.

this ain't goodbye

You and I we're friends from outer space
Afraid to let go
The only two who understood this place
And as far as we know

We were way before our time
As bold as we were blind
Just another perfect mistake
Another bridge to take on the way to letting go

This ain't goodbye
This is just where love goes
When words aren't warm enough
To keep away the cold

Oh no, this ain't goodbye
It's not where our story ends
But I know you can't be mine
Not the way you've always been

As long as we've got time
Then this ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye

We were stars up in the sunlit sky
That no one else could see
Neither of us thought to ever ask why
It wasn't meant to be

Maybe we were way too high to ever understand
Baby, we were victims of all
All the foolish plans
We began to divide


But this ain't goodbye
This is just where love goes
When words aren't warm enough
To keep away the cold

Oh no, this ain't goodbye
It's not where our story ends
But I know you can't be mine
Not the way you've always been

As long as we've got time
This ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye
This ain't goodbye

You and I we're friends from outer space
Afraid to let go
The only two who understood this place
And as far as we know

This ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye
This ain't goodbye
Oh no, this ain't goodbye

This ain't goodbye
This is just where love goes
When words aren't warm enough
To keep away the cold

Oh no, this ain't goodbye
It's not where our story ends
But I know you can't be mine
Not the way you've always been
Oh no, don't say it
Don't say goodbye


** yeah, this ain't goodbye s.looked up at the moonlit sky just now and i realized we still share the same sky.maybe someday things will be better for us. 

hows it going to be?

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss

I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be

And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion

How's it going to be
When you don't know me any more
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

wanderlust

My Lakbayan grade is B!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

flashback to two months ago

Lyin'  here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe
I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile

I've never opened up to anyone
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms
We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
No, I don't want to push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no, it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No, I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

No, I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave
But you'll be in my dreams
Tonight, tonight, tonight

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far

Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby, I'm alright

Oh, let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight, kiss goodnight

the five people you meet in heaven

Lost love is still love, Eddie. it takes a different form that's all. you can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. but when those senses weaken, another heightens. memory. memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it.

People say they 'find' love, as if it were an object hidden by a rock. but love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. what people find then is a certain love. 

That's the thing. sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. you're just passing it on to someone else. 

happiness is a choice

and so i was feeling a little down today because of unfortunate events last weekend, and then just a moment ago i came across one of my favorite lines from Eat, Pray, Love: 

Lord, please help me memorize this feeling of contentment and help me always to support it.

i've always made that prayer every time i am feeling satisfied with my life. that i wish that kind of feeling would be etched in my memory so i can always go back to it and be inspired by it when i am feeling a little sad. it may be hard to remember that feeling of contentment when your heart is crying but it is worth a try. remember, happiness is a choice. so now i am in the process of going back to that feeling of happiness. of how it feels like to be content. i know someday, not too long from now that i will finally have that kind of feeling again. :)  

para sa iyo

Wag ka nang umiyak sa mundong pabago-bago
Pag-ibig ko ay totoo
Ako ang bangka
Kung magalit man ang alon at panahon
Sabay tayong aahon

Kung wala ka ng maintindihan
Kung wala ka ng makapitan
Kapit ka sa akin
Hindi kita bibitawan
Wag ka nang umiyak mahaba man ang araw
Uuwi ka sa yakap ko
Wag mo nang damdamin
Kung wala ako sa iyong tabi
Iiwan ko ang puso ko sayo
At kung pakiramdaman mo'y
Wala ka ng kakampi
Isipin mo ako dahil
Puso't isip ko'y nasa iyong tabi

so kiss me goodbye because im defying gravity

somewhere along our life's journey, we lose people close to our hearts.not the kind who pass away in this world, because that is beyond our control. the kind of people im talking about here are those who chose to leave us for reasons we may not understand yet, but definitely because its part of the plan.

now when i was younger and immature, i tend to sulk at these partings.it took me a long time to finally get over it. i had separation anxiety.big time.

going through life experiences like these has definitely made me a stronger person.reading books and having constant dialogues with sensible people has also helped me a lot in managing difficult situations.

now i realized that we really should not feel bad about the people who leave us.how about putting yourself in their shoes and try to see things based from their perspective? yes, they chose to leave because its the best thing to do. we may not understand it yet when the pain is still fresh, but someday it will all make sense. and the most important thing i learned is that dont force people to stay when they've already made a decision to go. in fact, you should initiate it when you begin to notice that they are not happy anymore. they will love you more for that, trust me. i am proud to say that i am beginning to master this it is almost an art.

so i thank those who left, for the memory they have left behind. and the moments shared with them.but more importantly, for the lessons learned and for taking part in making me a better person.  

signs of stress

time check: 1:26am. 

i was feeling stressed out from work so i decided to take a break and paint my nails shining shimmering furfle!and when paired with my green sandals they make a nice eggplant feet!hahaha. :D

love letter

s,
dude swerte mo lang at syo tumama ang pagbabagong buhay ko.hahaha.sadyang masaklap lang na hindi ka nakakaintindi ng tagalog kaya humanap ka ng translator mo mheyn.

nagmamahal,
k

balanced diet.haha.

goodbye my almost lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

Well, I?d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you?d want the same for me


Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

musings on a saturday morning

whenever i am just at home working, my days are not distinguished by weekdays and weekends. every single day when i get up, i immediately turn on the laptop and open Outlook, type in my password and wait for mails to load. open chrome, sign in to meebo, facebook, yahoo and google mail. while all these are loading, i go out and play with kooki for a bit, then prepare breakfast.i eat in front of the laptop.almost always.then i start working while taking calls and chatting with friends in between.

every single day, it has always been like that. i am getting bored. i miss the times when i go to the office and meet  officemates. discuss project direction with the bosses, consult research methods with peers and enjoy lunch with them.i miss being in charge of a project.the challenge of making a proposal look good enough to get funding, and managing the budget when you finally get it. i love the feeling of reporting about your research output and somehow having an influence on policies.

back when i was still doing that job, i also thought of changing careers especially during difficult times. i had thought of going into IT, of becoming a chef. i even considered the idea of becoming a tour guide because of my wanderlust!

being in the corporate world now made me realize that i need not need to change careers. because social research and rural development is where happiness is. funny because i had to move away from it to make me realize that its all i wanted to do after all. 

dealing with change

This is a simple story about two sets of personalities and how they deal with change. One has a very simple outlook in life, the other has a tendency to overanalyze each situation. So when their "cheese" (anything that makes us happy, be it work, relationship, etc) was gone from where they usually got it, they each take a different path to finding cheese nirvana. 
so as expected, the simple guy took off right after he realized there was no cheese anymore.he buckled up and started looking for cheese in other "cheese stations." now the complicated guy, who had made his cheese station his comfort zone took painful steps coming out of his shell to look for new cheese. this is his journey.
Some fear can be good. When you are afraid things are going to get worse if you don't do something, it can prompt you into action. But it is not good when you are so afraid that it keeps you from doing anything.
Whenever he started to get discouraged, he reminded himself that what he was doing, as uncomfortable as it was at the moment, was in reality much better than staying in the cheeseless situation. he was taking control, rather than simply letting things happen to him.
it is safer to search in the maze, than remain in a cheeseless situation.
what you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. the fear that YOU let build up in your mind is worse that the situation that actually exists.
he realized that the cheese had not just disappeared overnight as he had once believed. the amount had been getting smaller, mold may even have begun to grow. he now realized that the change probably would not have taken him by surprise if he had been watching what was happening all along and if he had anticipated change.
smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old.
he realized the fastest way to change is to laugh at your own folly -- then you can let go and move on quickly. he  learned something useful about moving on from the simple guy.he kept life simple. when the situation changed, he changed and moved with it.
you could be more aware of the need to keep things simple, be flexible, and move quickly.
you did not need to overcomplicate matters or confuse yourself  with fearful beliefs.
youl could notice when the little changes began so that you would be better prepared for the big change that might be coming.
he realized that there is always New Cheese out there whether you recognize it at the time, or not. and that you are rewarded with it when you go past your fear and enjoy the adventure.


he had even found a better part of himself. :)